Meet Stephanie: I’m the asshole behind the asshole in the line at the coffee shop who is losing it because the asshole in front of me has just ordered something that no longer resembles coffee at all and then when it’s my turn to order and I say “Small Coffee Please” I then have to answer one thousand questions and pay $6 and I’m still not sure what I got. AND I can’t find the half and half. When did we f*ck up coffee so much?

Meet Jensen: Ironically he thinks he’s the bigger asshole, but the truth is he loves sugar and coffee. He tolerates my nonsense and says it’s fine if we only serve coffee-coffee, but there has to be cold brew or else he’s out.

Stephanie grew up in Galesburg, hit the road at 19, hung out in CA for 28 years doing the things, and came back home, because, well. Home.

Jensen is CA through and through, but took a leap of faith and schlepped all his shit to Central Illinois, because, well. Love.